We need to introduce height zones at concerts. (London)
Summary
A woman on the Tube argues that concerts need height zones, with anyone 5'5" and under claiming the front rows while taller fans get relegated to the back. She tells Kareem about getting elbowed in the face by a "7ft skyscraper" at a show in Brighton last week, leaving her with a busted lip for the rest of the night. Kareem pitches an amusement park style system with measuring sticks at security. The conversation spirals into observations about who actually dances at concerts (short girls and tall guys, apparently, while short men just stand there), then veers into a confused civics lesson about governors. She's dead serious about the UK government implementing this policy.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? We need to introduce height zones at concerts.
100% agree. If you're 5 foot 5 or under, first front rows, taller than that, to the back mate. Short kings in the front. Welcome. You know, in amusement parks, you have the meter where you can stand up, get measured. You know if you're allowed on or not, step up, get measured, sent to your zone.
When you enter the concert, you go through security. Yeah. And then you go to the — the meter stick thing. The meter stick thing. And then they say, "Okay, you're under 5'5. You get the first 100 rows."
Yes, absolutely. A pro is that a lot of short people will come to concerts.
I mean, let me tell you a story. So, last week I went to see a band in Brighton with my boyfriend. We were having a great time and then all of a sudden the beat drops and I'm getting an elbow in the face. I had a busted lip for the rest of the night. It was a big guy.
He was like a 7ft skyscraper. Big guys. Look, when I go to a concert, I know where my place is. I go to the back.
You're one of the good ones. I don't want to ruin the vibe. We need more self-aware people like that because not all the tour guys be that self-aware, you know? They just be thrashing their arms around standing in front of people — just it's too much.
But what I do like about the big guys is that they move their bodies. This is true.
Short men don't dance. They really don't. I've been to so many concerts. All the short guys are like this. All the short girls are like this. They're vibing. And the tall guys in the back, they're going like this.
When I have my own shows and things, I'd love to give people a stool. Maybe like a little bumper seat in the car. Like that kind of vibe. You can stand on the stool, vibe out. How do we implement this? UK government, this is a call out. You need to do better.
Call on the governor. Is there a governor here? What's a governor?
I don't know. You guys are the ones that say governor. I think in the 1800s, honey, but not right now.
So, there used to be governors. Yeah, potentially.
We still have governors in America. Really? What do they do?
They govern the state. The mayor governs the city and the governor governs the state and then the president destroys the world.