The best Chinese restaurants are the ones that scare away white people
Summary
The best Chinese restaurants are the ones that scare away white people" is the opening salvo from a straphanger who quickly finds himself in a spirited debate with Kareem about what actually makes ethnic food authentic. The rider clarifies he wants awful decor, terrible service, and plastic cups. That's the signal. He even scoured Google Maps in LA for Mexican spots with the worst photos, which led him to the best burrito he's ever had. Kareem pushes back but starts to get it: bad ambiance equals good food. The conversation spirals into defining "authentic white food," landing on hot dogs and potatoes. How many potatoes does this guy eat weekly? "How many seashells are in the ocean?
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? The best Chinese restaurants are the ones that scare away white people. 100% disagree. When I go into an authentic restaurant, I, I want the decor to suck. First of all, no Chinese restaurant should scare white people. That's a you problem. It should scare away the, the ones that shouldn't be there.
Oh, the bad whites. The bad whites that don't appreciate good food.
What does scary mean? It's not failing health inspection, but it's not passing it either. You can say that about any restaurant. You can say about Mexicans. You can say about the French. Yes, this can apply to every culture.
So, we're revising the take. We revising the take. So, wait. Restaurants, good restaurants scare away white people. That's it. I will die on this hill. When I was in LA, I went on Google Maps to like Mexican restaurants and I looked for like awful pictures. The worst. Cuz that's what you wanted. The best burrito I've ever had.
Okay, I'm starting to understand. Yes. You're saying you don't want a restaurant with frills. I want the decor to be awful. You want the decor to be bad. Terrible. You want plastic cups. Yes. Terrible service.
Bad service. Bad decor equals good food. Yes.
Okay. I'm understanding what you're saying. I still don't agree. I mean, listen, I, I need it to be authentic. What's authentic white food? Like hot dogs?
I think it's hot dogs. Yeah. Like hot dogs and stuff like that. I love authentic white food. I really do. I love authentic white food. I like potatoes. Mm.
How many potatoes do you eat a week? Oh god. I mean, it's like, you know, how many seashells are in the ocean?
Oh, I love white people food. I love white people.