Sex Is the Point of Everything

So, what's your take? The point of everything is to get laid.

100% agree. I've never done anything in my life to not get laid. That is the reason.

I was really hoping you were going to disagree so I could like talk to you so I can fight my so I can fight.

Okay, fine. I disagree. I disagree. I I don't never wanted to get late.

Could I start one more time? Okay.

Okay. I'm I'm here. Okay. Okay.

So, what's your take?

Can we sit? I'm not in it. I'm sorry. I just know I'm so sorry, guys.

So, what's your take? The point of everything is to get laid.

100% agree. Not everyone knows that. For some reason, I thought that this was a controversial thing that I could say.

I'm the only one agreeing.

Okay, so like I wore a peasant top to do the subway takes.

Why'd you wear a peasant top?

Why did I do the subway takes?

I don't know. It's probably to get laid.

To get laid.

Literally.

Why'd I start smoking?

To get laid.

To get laid.

Everyone does everything to get laid.

Another point I was going to say about getting laid. Um, is that uh Oh, I was going to do a horrible joke that I probably

Make the joke.

Um, I'm

Oh, it's so bad.

Make the joke. I'm the best.

Okay, maybe we won't tell you from that joke.

I knew I would feel this way. Okay, that's amazing.

I'm not going to say that.

What lengths have you gone to to get laid? I've flown halfway across the world. I've gotten all the hair off my body. I've gotten hair on my body. I've changed my voice. I've smoked so many cigarettes. My voice is deep.

'Cuz you think smoking is attractive. I feel like I didn't execute anything attractive right. And so I tried to do everything like like in an I don't care way.

But that's good.

The other take that I had was that um 21-year-old girls um if they came as quickly as 21-year-old boys, they the this world would be even more violent and diabolical and dastardly than the world currently is

because everyone would be coming.

Um because 32-year-old single women wouldn't find a place in this single landscape anymore if 21-year-old girls were just coming instantly. I also, this is more of an admission, but I've I don't think I've ever come with anyone in my life.

I have alone. But

let's go back to this peasant top.

Yeah, please.

What's up with the peasant top? Why did you describe it as a peasant top? It looks nice.

Well, no, 'cuz isn't this like the the name of the top?

Oh, I thought you meant it was a top for peasants.

Let's go back to getting laid.

Okay. You thought that that would help you get laid?

You're in a relationship.

I'm in a marriage.

So, if the point of everything is to get laid, how do you go on with your marriage?

Well, no. I used to I was driven by that from the ages of 8 to like 33. Now I'm free. I'm free to do as I please. I do things that will not get me laid. It's amazing. It's the most freeing experience in the world. I have an electric bike.

Okay. But my point is that even that the people who are in relationships and married like where do I do I look at the camera or do I look at the screen? Um I've never not chased in my life like I've always I've always chased. I'm chasing you right now. Pursuit.

Yes. I'm in pursuit. I'm so not effortless. I'm so filled with effort that the only way that I can get laid is to like commandeer the effort and just be like this is is to like uh own up to is is to is to um

Has it been working for you? No, I haven't been laid in a god long time.

I think things are about to change. I don't I think so.

I really fail. I think a lot of people are going to comment on the subway take and say, "I like her energy. She's so sweet. What an interesting person. What a cool peasant top."

I've done this all wrong. I've done this all wrong.

What do you mean you've done this all wrong? Why are you doubting yourself?

Another take that I have. The world would be a more peaceful place if every man had the same size penis. But that doesn't require an explanation. That's very obvious.

Equal the playing field.

100%.

I think so, too. Most things are What do you think?

What do you think?

Just keep going. Um, I also think that uh you shouldn't be in a relationship with the person that you have the best sex of your life with.

I disagree because then sex is the most important part of the relationship.

No, that's a bonus. It's awesome.

No, but if it's the best sex of your life, then it is the most euphoric wonderful thing that's ever happened to you. And then jealousy becomes such a bigger issue in the relationship because anyone could take it away from you at any time. But the point of everything is to get laid, which is why I am am going to go home and and and and and feel and shake my head and say, "Hate you, Annie. Hate you, Annie." Because I didn't do it right on the show.

Oh god, I'm stressed out.

I'm I I gave up stress.

This is the first time I've ever This is literally the first time I've ever been stressed out on the show.

God, wait. Actually,

I'm really My my heart is racing.

Demonstrating how exactly not to get laid. You got to back yourself. You got to love yourself. It's like you got to not second guess a thing. And my um energy is just it's going to be a long time till I get laid.

I think you're going to get laid after this. If I am going to get laid after this, I want it to be like really great sex with someone that I think is uh like check off. Like I want it to be like the best um writer of our generation. [Music]

Okay, here's another take.

We got to get off you. We got to get off here. But fire it up.

Um uh uh [Music]