Mario Lopez — Stop asking people"How are you?" because nobody gives a f***. Ft. Marito Lopez
Summary
Mario Lopez brings a spicy take about ditching "How are you?" as a greeting because nobody actually cares about the answer. Kareem pushes back, arguing he genuinely wants to know, but Lopez isn't having it. The conversation spirals into Latino greetings ("qué" means love, not small talk), the transactional nature of cashier pleasantries, and why Lopez refuses to tell his mom how he's really doing in New York City because "I'm scared, Mommy" isn't the vibe. Lopez's alternative? "What up, king?" followed by a hug and walking away. No questions asked. The irony hits when Kareem, after thanking him for coming on, can't help but ask "How are you, though? For real?" Lopez's response: "I'm all right.
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Full Transcript
So, what's your take? Stop asking people "How are you?" because nobody gives a—
100% disagree. You do care.
I do care. Problem is everyone's lying and they go, "I'm all right," and really they're on their way to the bridge to jump off it.
That's what I'm saying, bro. Nobody wants to hear that. Nobody wants to hear "pass good" or "great."
You think it's small talk? "How are you?" is the "how's the weather" of greetings. We don't want to hear that, bro. Latinos don't even say as. We say "qué."
What does that mean? K?
What does that mean? It's love, bro.
Oh, they just say it's—it's love. It's love. Like when I see people, I go, "What up, king?" "What up, queen?" I don't hit you with small talk, bro. I'm already small enough.
But after you say "What up, king?" to me, then I go, "How, how are you?" I don't want to hear that. I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU, BRO.
SO, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY NEXT? We hug.
We don't just go, "What up, king?" and then we hug. That's it.
What up, king? And then— And we walk away. You know what I mean?
I don't want to know anything, bro. It's none of my business how people are. It's none of my business how people are. It's none of my business how you are, bro. You know what I mean? You know who asks "How are you?" Cashiers.
Because it's a transaction, bro. Because they know it's going to be over.
Give me my money. That's it. Goodbye.
What about your mom? She calls you and says, "How are you?" No, bro. My mom doesn't say that to me. She goes—she goes—
"What the hell does that mean?" That means "How did my young king wake up? How did my beautiful prince wake up?" That's how we talk, bro. She doesn't want to know how I am. I'M NOT GOING TO TELL MY MOM HOW I AM IN NEW YORK CITY. I'm scared, Mommy.
I'm going to start calling my friends and say, "How did my young king wake up?" I woke up good, brother. I'm just trying to survive in the white man's world. That's it. That's all you need to know. Every day, I'm trying to survive in the white man's world.
I don't really know what else to say. That's what I'm talking about.
I really have nothing else to say. Thanks for coming on the show. It was great, brother.
Thank you.
How are you, though? For real? I'm all right.