John C. Reilly Doesn't Like Food Videos

So what's your take? My take is it has to do with uh restaurants, waiters and restaurants. Okay, at some point in the modern era I feel like waiters started to get trained by like corporate consultants and they started to say this one phrase that I find disgusting and they say—

What is it? It's mostly kind of corporate restaurants that do it, but it's like they come up to the table after they serve your food, you started to eat, and then they go, "How's everything tasting?"

100% agree, right? I don't like it when they get out of my—[censored]—mouth. This is an intimate space. I don't want you to ask about how things are tasting. How is everything, you know? You like, "How is everything?" Yeah, it's fine. You like, "How's everything going?" Yeah, it's good. To check in, "Can I get food?" Yeah, that's okay. Or even, you know, "Is everything good?" But the other really annoying one is, "How are the first bites?"

Oh, what the hell is that? How are the first bites? I'm out. [Music] I think it's a big problem in America. One of the bigger problems in America is actually the corporatization of it goes into a bigger thing, which is that restaurants used to be about personality and vibes. And it's like, "How you doing?" Well, even if the restaurant wasn't about personal and vibe, at least you would have like a personal connection with the person who was serving the food, right? They would have like a genuine interaction with you, like look at you, see what you're going on with you, and give some kind of organic response. Not a pre-programmed line: "How's everything tasting?" And my son's like totally goof on me all the time now cuz we'll be having a great meal, you know, sitting at a restaurant, and then the person will double back for the tasting, and I'll go—my son's obvious like start cracking up.

Those are good sons, though. Those are good sons cuz they make fun of you. Yeah, exactly, right? Like, what—what kind of—what kind of sons would you prefer? You wouldn't prefer other sons?

No, no. I like a respectful wisegass. You like her? What else you got? What—what else? What other takes do you have?

The other take I had was similar to food, which is that in movies or commercials I really do not like to see people eat at all. I don't want to see like those Carl's Jr. commercials where like the hot girl is like biting into a cheeseburger and things are dripping out of it. It's like filthy repellent. I'm 100% disagree with that. Really? I like when I see people eat.

It's awful. And that thing they do on all those cooking shows... like I don't want to know. I so... you don't watch any cooking shows on TV?

No, I mean cooking. And then I like—I literally, like, when those commercials come on, I'll put my hand over the TV so I don't have to see the food going in the mouth. Whoa. I know it's a weird thing. What bothers you the most?

The mouth. It's just something about like, there's something disgusting about it. I don't know. Like, it's also too intimate. You should do it in private. Something you should do in private, just eat, you know? Like, you wouldn't stare in someone's mouth while they're eating at a table, right? How's everything tasting? Yeah. Should we take the escalator?

How do you feel about escalators? I don't mind an escalator. Let's go. In my experience, people don't like escalators sometimes, so I had to ask you: how do you feel about escalators?

Well, as a kid I was kind of terrified of them cuz my—you afraid—mom would just be like, "Get your hand away from there, your coat will get caught," and then you'd be shredded into—yeah, you heard about the rumor that everyone knows about? Yeah, it seems possible. I mean, look at the sharp teeth. The rumor is that your shoelace gets stuck in there. And I've seen a couple of little kids get pretty close to wiping out. But there's no room to suck you into the gears, right? They would just kind of like slowly churn you at the top. Here, is this the right way?

I don't know if we want the right way. Oh, we got to go back downstairs. We got to go back downstairs. So have you ever eaten in a movie?

No, that's another thing I find—I mean, I tried it. You mean like when you're watching a movie at the theater? No, have you ever played a role yes, where you have to eat on camera? And I feel bad. And you know what's even worse is watching people brush their teeth on camera.

Okay, I don't like that. I think that's disgusting. And some people really—some actors really relish it like they get into it like in their gums and [censored] like I just don't want to see that. I don't want to see that either. I see you're wearing this nice suit.

Thank you. What's up with that?

Well, I have to do some other press appearances today. So I would—would have worn something a little cooler for you. No, no, you look awesome. What about the hat? Are you a hat guy?

I am a hat man. You're a hatman?

Yeah, a hatman. It's kind of an actor cliché to be into hats, but I am. I would rather be overdressed than underdressed. Yeah, and I think there's been kind of a thing that's happened somehow in the world. Like, if you look at photographs from like the 1940s, like every man has a suit, a tie, and a hat on. And then granted, maybe that was a little oppressive for them at the time, but now it's gone the other way. Like, you get in an airplane and like someone's literally in their pajamas.

Like, yeah, that is one of my biggest pet peeves. That's one of my hot takes. When I—when I travel, you know what I wear? There you go. If I'm going to LA, a jacket. If I'm going to Rome, you wear a suit?

Today too. I wear a suit every day. I think it's cool to wear suits. I like to wear a suit when I'm not going to work. Yeah, and then people are like, "Why are you wearing a suit?" I'm like, "I like it. I like wear—you like you have self-esteem?" You know, listen, I'm a—I'm a feminist. Through and through. I'm a ride-or-die feminist. That's good. But the yoga pants have got to stop. The yoga pants have got to go.

For yoga class, great. But out on the street, I don't know. It just seems like it's an extension of the pajamas on the plane, you know? I agree. I agree. I'm glad you're comfortable, but I don't know. Can't we all just make an effort a little bit? Like, I think that's that's an American thing, though. Like, if you go to Italy, if you go to France, like Paris and stuff like, people are wearing real, regular, like good clothes. Like they're wearing clothes they got—cuz right now everyone seems like they're still dressed for the pandemic, right? They're like, "You know what, I'm staying home, wearing pajamas all day," but I'm like, "No, you're going to Whole Foods." You're right. Like, a taxi driver in Rome is going to have a sweater vest—

Yeah, a nice one or something, and a button shirt underneath that. Like, tell me about the new show.

Oh, my new show is called Mr. Romantic. It's a beautiful name. And it's uh kind of like my character from Chicago the Musical, Mr. Cellophane, but it's all about—I realized like the world needs more empathy, and I decided it was going to start with me. And so I made this show called Mr. Romantic. He's like this mythical character comes out of a steamer trunk and tries to fall in love with someone in the audience so that he doesn't have to go back into the steamer trunk. Like a genie?

Kind of like a genie, but like a genie desperate for love. That's beautiful. And um, it's been going great. And I sing all these like really romantic songs.

Oh, you sing? Oh, yeah.

How long have you been singing? Well, if you saw Chicago the Musical—

I didn't. I didn't. Well, Oscar thought I was pretty good singer. Uh, I was nominated for an Oscar for that movie.

Oh. Oh, Mr. Oscar. What's your favorite John C. Reilly film? You know, I have a really short shelf life for my own films. I watch them once and then I'm done.

You've only seen Step Brother once? One and done. Yeah, actually, they had a screening of that recently, and I watched it for charity with Will, so I've seen that one twice. Okay, I like uh, I like that you can oscillate between a funny man, a funny man—that's very Eric Wareheim of you—and then a serious man. The Gangs of New York is crazy to watch you in Gangs of New York cuz you're like kind of buff and hot, and then Step Brothers—

I do