It should be socially acceptable to tell someone"we can be friends, but only online." Feat James Tom
Summary
A straphanger pitches a radical idea: "We can be friends, but only online." Kareem's guest argues that some people you vibe with digitally simply don't need to enter your three-dimensional, multi-sensory, flesh world life. The conversation spirals into the politics of sliding into DMs (straight people maybe shouldn't), the varying durations of hookups by sexuality ("30 minutes or less if you're a straight man"), and why our parents' old internet safety advice might've been onto something. The take? You can like someone's posts and politics without ever meeting them IRL. Time is finite. The internet is infinite. Don't slide into James Tom's DMs unless you're offering money.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? It should be socially acceptable to tell someone, "We can be friends, but only online." 100% agree. You know, people, you like their takes, you like their outfits, you like what they have to say politically, but we don't have to hang out in real life. No, never. You leave that for the people who want to, you know, experience your multi-sensory three-dimensional. Your three-dimensional multi-sensory sight, smell, touch even. I don't want to touch. No, but not me. Not me. I think some friendships they end start here and here because this is what always happens. You meet someone online and they always say this, "We should hang out sometime." Yes. And you want to be able to say, "Baby, I like you as a person, but I only have so many hours in the day and I have infinite hours on the internet. I can spend infinite hours responding to your all day, but in real life, like I barely even see my regular friends." A long time ago when the internet was first starting out, our parents used to say, "Never meet up with anyone that you meet on the internet. Do not meet a stranger on the internet." Maybe we should bring that back.
Well, I do think it's okay to solicit somebody only for on the internet. I don't think dating or friendship I think that's too much. A friendship could last a lifetime. Lasts depending on who you are, 30 minutes or less. 30 minutes or less if you're a straight man up to maybe 36 hours if you're a lesbian, but then it's done and then you can leave. That feels so much less harsh to me somehow than like I don't want to be friends with you. That feels horrible.
Well, it's a little intense to say I would like to have contextually. And I do not think that a man should do this to a woman. Me neither. And neither does. In fact, I think a woman should never solicit a strange man for Maybe straight people should not do it at all. Maybe straight people shouldn't slide in the DMs unless they're trying to stand on business. Networking is okay.
I don't think all relationships have to be transactional, but I do think that everybody brings something to the table. And so, if you want to have a friendship, you have to both equally want to be friends. Yes. In the flesh world.
So, all in all, do not slide in James Tom's DMs. Yeah. Unless you want something or to offer me money, but definitely not friendship. These are the priorities on the pyramid of my life. It's money and then friendship.