I should be the next James Bond . (London)

So, what's your take? I should be the next James Bond.

100% disagree. I'm—look, I—

That's a bit rude.

No, no. I believe that like a brown man should be the next James Bond, but I don't—

I think that you're really handsome and you look great in this topic. Very kind. You look great, too.

I appreciate the effort. I appreciate that you gave up— The effort.

No, I wear this all the time, bro.

If we're going to have the discussion about a new James Bond—

Okay, yeah. It should be me.

You're not British. I can learn a British accent just like how you learned an American accent.

I'm not convinced. You can't learn how to be a little taller.

Hey, so you're saying— No one wants a short James Bond.

You're saying I'm too short to obviously look like a superhero secret agent. Yes.

That's exactly why I should be James Bond. You have a 6'7" blue-eyed guy walking through the bazaars in Karachi. He's getting smoked, bro.

That's true. That's a good point. You could sneak in. Right. Not being defensive, but I'm average height also for a UK male.

I don't know if you're average. I have been approached by the security services—MI6 three times in my life. MI5 and MI in real life.

Oh, like—okay. The first time I got approached was after my first film, and my—five took me to a side room. They said, "Did you become an actor for this reason and that reason?" They put me in arm locks, tried to break my wrist. And I was just bobbing and weaving, bro. It was beautiful. And at the end of the interview, they were so impressed. They said—

"Would you like to spy for us?"

Is this literally real? This is literally true. You can read it. There's an article. It's a well-known story. Happened in 2005.

The second time was a family friend.

He came to you— A friend of a family member approached and was like, "Would you help us with messaging?" I was like, "That's what you do for the government." And the third time I got approached, it was through the BBC. A senior figure of the BBC hit me up to put me in touch with security services to sit down and have a conversation.

It would be funny if you were—if you were cast as James Bond. It would be pretty funny.

Why would that be funny?

I mean, it's—it's funny. You're like— It's hilarious.

What?

I'm just—it would literally be like a documentary. It wouldn't be—it would be funny. It wouldn't be slapstick. I think it would be cute. It would be cute.

But like, I'm like, it could be you, but it should be me because we don't get to choose these things. It's chosen for us. And MI6 have already chosen me three times.

Let me get an impression then.

You want me to say the name is Bond? James Bond? Yeah.

Yeah. The name's Bond. James Bond.

What?

Nothing. That's great.

The whole way that I'm going to do it is totally realistic.

You're going to be a chill Bond. I'm not going to put all this sauce on the names. I'm just going to say the name's Bond. James Bond. How you doing? How's your day? I'm just going to flip everything on his script and just make it as real as possible, because people—people are fed up of things being fake.

That's true.

They want to see Tom Cruise really flying a plane. They want to see what a secret agent in 2026 would actually look like.

He looks like this.

That's true.

You know what? I don't think I want the role.

That's lucky, because no one was offering it to you. Yeah. No, I'm—you know, you're my homie.

I think you're—I support you.

You could be a villain.

If you're going to play Bond like that, then I'm going to play the villain like this, for— Two minutes.

Just a passive aggressive uncle. You're the Bond villain who's just kind of like, "When are you getting a real job, James?