I feel like the Make-A-Wish kids are getting finessed a little bit
Summary
A stranger on the subway delivers a controversial take: Make-A-Wish kids are getting "finessed" because they're meeting John Cena instead of getting better medical care. When Kareem pushes back, the rider doubles down with a simple argument: if you're dying, wouldn't you rather meet "the world champ of oncology" than a celebrity who shows up four hours late? Kareem Googles the top pediatric oncologist and finds Lisa Roth, MD, sparking an increasingly absurd debate about whether the foundation should scrap celebrity meet-and-greets entirely and just "fix cancer" instead. The logic gets wilder as the conversation goes on. After all, if we've got GLP-1 shots for weight loss and pills for baldness, why not redirect all that star power and funding toward actual cures? The rider insists this isn't sad, it's pro-science. There's a new wish in town: fix the kids.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? I feel like the Make-A-Wish kids are getting finessed a little bit.
100% disagree. I think that their wishes are being made. I don't think their wishes are truly being made. Like, if I'm on my way out, the last person I want to see is John Cena.
They want to see him. No, my Make-A-Wish would be a better doctor, dog. [laughter] I want the world champ of oncology.
Okay, but, but it's that's not an option. Why not? They make millions of dollars a year and all they can do is Mickey Mouse. So, if you were dying—
If I was dying— and you were a little young man—
A little young man— they would say, "All right, you're about to die in a week. You got one more wish."
I'd be like, "Bring in Lisa Roth, MD." Who the is Lisa Roth?
She's actually a pediatric oncologist at Google. [laughter] What did you Google?
I was like, yo, like who's the top oncologist like pediatrics? And her name came up and I was like, I would rather see her than the person who slams people through a table. But the Make-A-Wish Foundation—
Shout out. Shout out. I'm not a kid. I'm just saying like athletes be showing up 4 hours late. That's what you want to be doing.
I guess the kids don't have a lot of time. Yes.
The least they could do is show up on time. Show up on time. I'm dying. You know who's going to show up on time? Lisa Roth.
Oh, this is the saddest Subway take. It's not meant to be sad. It's meant to be like, "Hey, let's reallocate some funds. Let's put money back into science." This is pro-science. This is pro-finding a cure, cuz we got cures. They cure fatness. Everybody's selling a—I about to say H1 in one shot. Everybody selling the GLP-1 shot. Everybody selling bald pills and wiener pills.
Yeah, we should fix cancer. We should fix cancer.
Yeah. You want my wish?
Fix this. Fix cancer.
We got the money. Call Lisa.
I'm calling Lisa after this. We got too much money circling in this country and we know it just goes to consumers. Make-A-Wish Foundation should donate all their money to finding a cure. There's a new wish in town. Fix the kids.