Every business has the wrong music at the wrong volume. @JoeListComedy
Summary
Every business has the wrong music at the wrong volume. That's the adamant take from a straphanger who thinks the French get it right, but American establishments are sonic disasters. He tells Kareem that Starbucks blasts Taylor Swift-style dance music when it should be playing "vocalist jazz. Wes Montgomery. A little D in the coffee shop." The real problem? Corporate spots want you gone fast, hence the uptempo beats designed to make customers "bye bye bye bye bye." He's never confrontational enough to ask staff to change it, preferring to complain in private (this totally counts as private, right?). The conversation spirals into trumpet impressions and a coffee shop concept called "Joe's Joe" where the entire soundtrack is just stand-up bass. Where the hell are we? Good question.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? That every business has the wrong music at the wrong volume. 100% disagree. Oh, I think generally speaking, if I'm stepping into a French cafe, they got a little bit of French cafe. Maybe a French cafe. The French are who does it right. That's what makes me so upset about the United States of America. But you go to Starbucks, it's like dance music, but it's like, hey, it's like Taylor Swift. It should be vocalist jazz. Wes Montgomery. A little D in the coffee shop. Dance music is for dancing. They want you to bye bye bye bye bye bye bye. I say bye-bye cuz it's too loud. Nothing says bye like drop it. Not one of those DJs. Ambient sounds. Ambient sound. A nice and you kind of don't notice until someone says I like the music.
Wait. Do it again. Ah, you see that would be nice.
Do you ever ask them to change the music? No. No, I'm not that guy. I'd rather talk to you about it in private. This is private, right? I think the reason they put the dance music in there is cuz they want you to order your cup and then leave. Whereas, if you go to the local coffee shop, they want you to maybe stay. So, they play a little softer music. You go into Sears, say, or Sears, well, whatever. Sears, J.C. Penney, whatever it is, JC Penney, uh, you know, Life magazine, wherever you go.
Where do you live? 1988. We should vote on her. Everyone, who wants to hear jazz music? It should be like a You're really good at the trumpet. Oh, I do have a good stand up bass, too. You need intro music for this? Keep going. Keep going for a while. Joe's Joe, a coffee shop. And all the soundtrack is cuz Joe is another word for coffee. The cough I No, I know.
Where the hell are we?