Every American should have to live for at least two weeks a year in the South
Summary
A subway rider challenges New Yorkers to spend two mandatory weeks each year in the real South, not Atlanta or Miami, but places like Shreveport, Mobile, and Tallahassee. Kareem pushes back hard. What's he supposed to do in Alabama? The rider insists that's exactly the problem: New Yorkers think everything's available in Queens and condescend to places with more Waffle Houses than sushi bars. The conversation ping-pongs through Southern hospitality ("bless your heart" racism versus loud New York racism), the language barrier of thick accents, and the revelation that Alabama has beaches called "the redneck Riviera." They debate gumbo versus jambalaya, whether "y'all" is humanity's greatest linguistic achievement, and the invented portmanteau "gumbo-laya." The rider's convinced bridge-building requires experiencing parts of America that don't show up on TV. Kareem remains unconvinced but admits Waffle House is fire.
Full Transcript
So what's your take? Every American should have to live for at least two weeks a year in the South. 100% disagree. I don't want to go. You're going. You're going. I'm a Dodgers—that's the problem. People like you live in New York City, people like me, people like you. You people, you people live in New York City thinking everything's here, everything's enjoyable here, and then you condescend to the South that I haven't been there. And when I say the South, I don't mean Atlanta. I don't mean Miami. I don't mean New Orleans. I mean the South—Shreveport, Tallahassee, Mobile, Alabama.
Is this a punishment? The South like punishment?
No. You think it's punishment, but you'll learn that the South is a part of America too. They don't want to be a part of America.
Some. Most of them do. It's just the—it's just the loud few. But you'll understand that that's one of the ways we build bridges. You need to live in the South. You need to enjoy the South. I think Southerners need to spend two weeks in New York.
They do. No, they don't. Most of the TV that you watch on TV, they got a good sense of Beverly Hills. They got a good sense of New York 'cause it's all everywhere. We don't spend enough time in the South.
What the hell am I gonna do in Alabama? You're gonna do a lot of things. You're gonna have gumbo. You're gonna have jumbalaya.
I can do that in Queens. That's not the—see, that's the problem. You people think that because you're in New York—here we go with "you people."
Yeah, you people. That everything's perfect. You need to spend time in places where there's more Waffle Houses than sushi bars.
Waffle Houses? Fire. And let's be clear—Southern racists, when they're not killing you, are some of the nicest racists. Right? New York racists are loud and mean. Southern racists are like, "How you doin', baby? You one of those brown ones, ain't you? Oh, well, bless your heart." That does sound nice.
Did you know Alabama has beaches? I didn't know that.
Alabama—they call it the redneck Riviera. I mean, that sounds fire. And it's cheaper. That's South, and the food is great, and it's a cool hang. You'll hear some things, but you should learn some things.
What about the language barrier? You have to slow it down way down. Things you—a lot slower, and your ears are gonna take a minute to adjust 'cause the accents are thick.
"Hey, y'all. How y'all doing over there? Hey, y'all. Let me get a pop." And y'all is one of the greatest words ever created in the history of language. How's this sound? "Hey, y'all, take gumbo-laya, gumbo-laya."
Yeah, it's gumbo and jumbalaya mixed together. No.