Niger needs to change its name, you can't be one G away from the N word. Ft. Eric Andre
Summary
Eric Andre shows up with scorching hot takes about country names that sound uncomfortably close to slurs. Niger needs rebranding. Guinea too. "It's literally just the pejorative guinea that you people called Italians," he tells Kareem, who's already laughing through the chaos. Andre suggests renaming Niger to "Cool Town" or just Connecticut, then pivots to Ashkenazi Jews ("there's Nazi in the word"), opera being boring lies, and his theory that comments sections are run by the CIA and Russian bots. He sweats through his shirt. Takes it off. The conversation bounces from ICE raids and Home Alone booby traps to people mistaking Kareem for Jussie Smollett, with Andre barely pausing between rants about surfers deserving shark attacks and ballet needing to die. It's rapid-fire absurdism, and Andre's got twenty more takes ready to go before Kareem can even wrap the segment.
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Full Transcript
So what's your take? The African country Niger needs to change its name. You can't be one G away from the N word.
100% agree in the [laughter] 21st century.
Do you just want them to remove the hard R and just make it an A? That would help.
N.
What do you think is a better name for it? Cool town. The country.
Oh, CT. CT.
Connecticut's already got that.
You could name it Connecticut.
I get some countries like United States. It kind of makes sense cuz it it's telling you what's happening.
Oh, you say you want a story name? Yeah. Like what do they do in Niger? Probably military coups.
South Africa makes sense.
So maybe you call it Northwest. Nobody, nobody knows where Niger is. I'm alienating the audience off the bat. People don't know Egypt is in Africa. You're you're African. Yeah.
But most Americans, if you're like, "Is Egypt in Africa?" they're like, "I don't know. It's in the Middle East." White people, they always go—
You know, you're African, right? Well, that's what ICE says to you when they're—this is what I think about ICE. We need to fight ICE, but I believe in nonviolence. However, if you own a restaurant where your workers are vulnerable to ICE raids, you can set up Home Alone booby traps so that when ICE comes, they grab onto the door handle. It's like [screaming] you know what I mean? They plug in the TV, they're like, loosen up a floorboard.
What other words need to be changed? Ashkenazi Jews got to change the name cuz there's Nazi in the word Ashkenazi. Nobody caught that.
I think you should change your name.
What do you think it should be? Kareem.
Kareem, put these on. This will make me like Kareem.
We have the same nose. I didn't even notice your nose. That's how progressive I am.
You didn't notice that you look like me [laughter] at all. People stop me and they say, "Eric—"
People stop me and they go, "Jussie Smollett, you paid a Nigerian guy to fake a racial [laughter] attack." And that's okay. I'm okay with that.
Wait, I got a bunch of hot takes. Go, go. Give me, give me.
What were the other ones? I texted you. Surfing isn't cool.
Yeah, surfing is lame. I don't give a—you're in a plank of wood in the water. You're getting laid because of it all the way off. [laughter] You think Dia goes straight to hell with Dick Cheney?
Oh, the Guinea one. There's a bunch of countries with the name Guinea in it. It's literally just the pejorative guinea that you people called Italians. It just means black. It's like having Negro in the title of an African country.
Why are you taking your clothes off? I'm sweating bullets.
This is your stuff.
Wait, that's it? That's how quick the show is? I got 20 more takes.
Go. Opera's got to go away. Ballet's got to go away. It's boring. [laughter] You're a liar. If you say you like opera, you're you're lying to my face. I hope you and a surfer die in a shark accident. Comments are run by the CIA and Russian bots. The division in the comment section. You're an op. You killed Lumba.
Leave a comment if you agree. That's it. That's as easy as the show is. Do I promote my show?
I can do it for you. Watch whatever I do. [laughter]