Being a best man is NOT not an honor
Summary
Being a best man is indentured servitude, according to a rider who's been a groomsman six times but only best man once. He explains the role's origins: in the 1600s, best men fought off wife-stealers at the altar. That's an honor. Now? It means someone thinks you're good at party planning and making sure the groom eats. Kareem, a self-described lone wolf, skipped having a best man entirely. The conversation spirals through the absurdity of being asked to help move apartments on top of wedding duties, with the rider convinced his friend picked him not for friendship but for competence. The other options included a possible alcoholic and a guy who called the fiancée "that woman." Groomsman is easy. Best man is work disguised as flattery.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? Being a best man is not an honor. 100% agree, dude. It's like—I—it's indentured servitude. It's awful. It's wild. I mean, I was looking it up. I was like trying to figure out like why was it ever an honor? I guess like apparently in the 1600s like people would steal wives. Like they would like take your—like you'd be like at the altar you'd be like, "Where's my wife?" Right.
Yeah. And apparently a best man would be like the person who would fight to—like who would like fight to like make sure they were protected or whatever. So it's like okay, that's an honor. Like you think I can fight, my guy. You think I can fight? You think—you think I can protect the person you love? Sure. Sure. I had no idea. And that's a great—
Now, now it means that you think I'm good at being an assistant. You think I'm good at playing parties. Being a best man, not that hard. You just—you just make sure the flask is full. You make sure the homies got, you know, lubricant. It's my responsibility to make sure he eats. That's like—that's not an honor at all. That's the same as fighting the foes.
The maid of honor. That's a hard job. Yes. Yes. Also no honor in that. Like I remember I was like doing all these responsibilities and my friend was like, "Dude,"—like he was like, "Hey, like I actually I haven't moved, so like could you help me move my apartment?" It's like, "Oh, I'm supposed to help you like be less stressed."
Wait, but that's just the best friend. Yeah, but your best man is your best friend. And then I'm supposed to be honored that you asked me to do this.
I have a question. How many times have you been a best man? One.
Wow. How many times have you been a best man? Zero. But here's the thing. Okay. I've been a groomsman legitimately six times.
Oh, this is why you think it's easy. Groomsman is easy. I've never been asked to be a best man. I was asked to be a best man, but I feel like it was 'cuz I was the most competent of the friends. Like the options weren't that wide. It's like, okay, I'm going to go with this guy who I think might be an alcoholic, this guy who calls my fiancée that woman, or this guy who can say—or derves correctly. I think I'll go with Gary.
Like, wait, who is your best man? Did you—didn't have one? No. I'm a lone wolf.
Smart. Inside of me there are two wolves. They're both lone.
Yeah. Yeah.